I work with many clients throughout the world as an energy healer and there is something I'd like to address which seems to be affecting parents and children this time of year – not being accepted for schools, mostly college or universities, after applying for Early Decision. I received many calls from concerned parents as notifications were received in the lead up to the holidays in December.
When a child – or an adult – submits an application for anything, it is easier to feel optimistic and excited when the application is considered as a fresh start, an opening, and they are looking at a bright, positive future for themselves. Obviously, the option of 'failure' to get a place is there, but the majority of their focus is on success and how great the experience will be. Over time, their initial enthusiasm and optimism can wane and be replaced with a lack of confidence in their own abilities and self doubt, which can increase as time passes and they wait to hear. This can lower their vibrational rate significantly, making it lower than the vibrational rate required to make their application successful.
I encourage my clients to be conscious of raising both their own vibrational rate and their child’s when submitting an application for anything. But when faced with rejection it is hard to understand why a perfectly qualified child has not achieved a place in the school of their choice, even when it seems like a perfect match for them.
A vibrational rate is a measure of how we are feeling at any given time. If our thoughts are pessimistic, our vibrational rate will be lower than if our thoughts are optimistic. For most of us, our vibrational rate can fluctuate between very low and very high within just a few minutes – imagine what that looks like over the course of a whole day. If we allow ourselves to be affected by something we consider sad or disappointing – our child not achieving a place at the school of their choice, for example – and we allow those thoughts to stay with us for several days, our vibrational rate will drop significantly. It will stay low until we either make a conscious choice to focus on happier thoughts or until something happier occurs to distract us, moving our focus onto something different. (And if we return to our sad thoughts, our vibrational rate will lower once again.)
We can only attract life experiences that reflect our vibrational rate, whatever that may be. This means that if we want something delightful to come into our life experience – like achieving a place at the school of your choice – we need to keep our vibrational rate very high. If we were to carry the feeling that we imagine we’d feel after achieving the goal at hand – after getting accepted – it would set the required vibrational rate for it to actually happen.
But, our children's view of themselves fluctuates wildly over the course of a day and they may or may not choose to share their feelings with us parents. Sometimes they tell us that everything is fine even when it isn't because they are too afraid to admit that they're not feeling great about themselves or about getting a place in a school they want to go to. Instead of feeling optimistic about it, they can start to feel quite the opposite. This thought pattern lowers their vibrational rate and makes it less likely that they will get the place they want in the end.
It's helpful to remember that everything that occurs in life is teaching us something and none of what occurs in our lives is personal. The main lesson is for us to see what feelings come up for us during difficult times and to clear them. The blessing technique is invaluable here. This will affect you as a parent as much as it does your child. See what feelings it brings up in you, clear them, and encourage your child to do the same.
The blessing technique is very simple.You take a quiet moment to see what feelings you're feeling – maybe anxiety for something ahead in your day, sadness, fear, anger, frustration, annoyance, despair, irritation, hopelessness, helplessness, etc – and then you bless them. You say it in the same way you would use a mantra and you take one feeling at a time, whatever is strongest at that moment. So, for example, if you’re feeling anxious, you’d say, “I bless my anxiety, I bless my anxiety, I bless my anxiety”....continuing for as many repetitions as possible. The more you repeat, the faster the change both inwardly, and outwardly in physical circumstances. You can bless your feelings anytime. You don’t need to focus your attention on something specific...do it while you're in the shower, walking down the street, in a taxi or bus, on a train or plane, while you wait on line, instead of scrolling mindlessly through your instagram feed.There are so many opportunities to bless your feelings throughout the day!
So why do we bless “negative” feelings? Most of the time, we ignore whatever we're feeling because nobody has ever taught us how to deal with our feelings. We know negativity doesn't feel good but we think that ignoring these feelings, will make them go away. Actually, the opposite is true! The reason they come up is to alert us to the fact that these feelings sit within us and are blocking our vibrational rate from being as high as it could be. The Universe says that whatever we resist, persists. When we bless our feelings we acknowledge them, we are no longer resisting them which means they don't need to persist. The feelings diminish and we feel very different....we feel great! There are so many benefits to using this technique, far more than I can explain here, but it basically gives you the power to change your mood and your physical circumstances!
Now, as your children are preparing and submitting additional school applications, it's very important that two things happen. First you, as the parent, need to clear all your feelings around this situation. You might be angry, disappointed, sad, fearful, and many other things too – but you need to try to relive and change that first moment in your head when your child was turned down, without any emotion. You can achieve this with the blessing technique and this is an excellent way for you to support your child. Second, you need to work with your child to ensure their vibrational rate stays high from the time the next set of applications are submitted until the results are received. This doesn't mean telling them they're wonderful and will, of course, get a place in their next school of choice. You have to address how they feel inside and, while you might want to just say wonderful things to them, rejection has already happened and it's less likely that they will believe you.
What children perceive as failure can have a profound and lasting effect on them and needs addressing.The blessing technique is great for this and by sharing it with them, you are teaching your children a tool they can use to improve their feelings for the rest of their lives. I know kids don't always want to listen to you, the parent, when it comes to things like this. But many of them can be fairly desperate to succeed so will be prepared to try anything. You can share how this has helped you and anything helpful in your own experience that's relevant for them. Teach them as much as you can, as fast as you can, and keep checking in on how they're doing. Homework and general schoolwork results will improve if their vibrational rate increases so investing time in this every day is very worthwhile. Do as much as you can to keep their vibration high through positive thoughts and actions and watch for positive signs of change!